Unplanned Male Pregnancy
Another Crisis of Modern Times
As if the world didn’t already have enough problems, the recently reported problem of unplanned male pregnancy has gone global. Now it’s reached all the way to China.
Normally, male pregnancy is something that only happens to seahorses. Seahorses are used to this sort of thing and have learned how to deal with it in a positive way. They view this as perfectly natural and usually take the news very well. For example:
Son: Mom, my wife got me pregnant.
Mother: That’s wonderful news. I’m SO proud of you!
Humans who experience the same situation are mostly at a loss to figure out how to explain what happened to their friends and relatives. When they do, the conversation seldom goes well. For example:
Son: Mom, my wife got me pregnant.
Mother: WHAT?!? 
Since some people still try to deny the reality of this growing crisis, here’s photographic proof:
Unplanned Male Pregnancy – It’s Getting More Common
Scientists are still trying to determine how an egg can accidentally get into a human male. There are two prevailing theories to explain this surprising ovum location. The first is that there is a previously unknown type of specialized retrieval sperm, which enters the female reproductive tract (either singly, or as a group) and drags the egg back into the male. The other theory is that there is some undocumented form of increased egg motility. Since these occurrences are still very rare (so far), there’s haven’t been any cases of sperm on an egg retrieval mission or exceptionally mobile eggs observed in the laboratory yet.
No matter which of these theories comes closest to describing the truth of the situation, someone is sure to try to foist the blame for these surprising reproductive cell changes off on some human-caused environmental degradation. They’ll claim it is a side-effect of global warming or due to some chemical contamination triggering freakish mutations. This is silly, since there is a much more simple and obvious explanation – Aliens set the whole thing up and are now placing large bets on how funny the reactions of humans will be. 
The good news is that unplanned male pregnancy is easily preventable. The best prevention for this unusual problem discovered so far is also one of the best-known methods for preventing unplanned female pregnancy – simply use a condom to keep the sperm and eggs from ever meeting.
