India Ink – Tattoos in Palolem (and jokes too)

India Ink

Tattoos in Palolem (and jokes too)

 

Somehow, I’ve managed to avoid ever getting any tattoos.  Shortly after arriving in India, I conceived of a practical joke to play on my lovely wife.  Thus, Operation India Ink Tattoos was born.

 

 

My cunning plan was further improved upon when Anil decided to get tattooed.  He selected a place which was only a few minutes walk from where we were staying.  I tagged along and took pictures and tried not to bump the tattoo guy or get my camera in the way (at least not too many times  ).  Before getting in the way of the tattooing process, I managed to make some helpful suggestions regarding how to orient the tattoo so he’d be able to show it off without twisting his arm to uncomfortable angles.

Operation India Ink Tattoos

 

For Step 1 of Operation India Ink Tattoos, I sent an email telling my wife and family that Azhar and Anil were planning to arrange something to really remember the trip by.  I further said I wasn’t sure what it was, and that I was a bit nervous about what they had in mind.

For Step 2, I asked Azhar to check around to find the cost of something special for me.  (Lunatic Travel Hint – In China or India, have a local person check the prices for everything, unless you want to pay special foreigner prices. )  On the last full day in Palolem, it was time for me to get inked.

There were some issues with the first place selected (prices went up more than 50% on my arrival), so we found another place.  Then I was stripped of my shirt and had my skin attacked by 2 different artists.  Azhar took pics as things progressed.

Next came decision time.  Should I send images before flying back or wait until I was back and just remove the shirt.  Option 1 would let me play the joke to other relatives at the same time.  Option 2 would have greater shock value.   For Step 3 of Operation India Ink Tattoos, I decided on something in-between.

When I arrived home, I needed to spend some time online checking on work anyway, so did this as soon as I staggered in the door.   I also prepared 2 draft email messages, one titled “That final afternoon in Goa (Read Me First)” and the other with the obvious title of “That final afternoon in Goa (Read Me Second)”, complete with the images already added.  Once I was done, I launched the first email and also asked my darling wife if she loved me no matter what.  Needless to say, she sounded a bit nervous.  I then showed her a pic of Anil getting inked, then my left arm, and followed that up by removing my shirt.

My relatives had to settle for getting the email version:

Well. you are probably wondering (or dreading) what the results of that “something to remember the trip by” plan was.

It sort of relates to the Chinese “car lizards”. The chrome geckos are supposed to bring good luck in avoiding accidents. I’d mentioned these to Azhar and Anil.

Here’s the first warning sign. A few days before, Anil decided to get . . . decorated.

 

 

Ah well. At least the guy applying the tattoo is wearing gloves.

Fast forward a couple of days. Ummm… where are the gloves?

 

 

And, is it just me, or is that lizard looking ugly instead of cute?
Ah well, if one isn’t satisfied with the creativity of the first artist, there’s an emergency backup artist available.

 

 

(who also isn’t wearing gloves)
Yes, that lizard came out both fat and ugly. 🙁

 

 

But the crawling floral design was fairly nice.

 

 

However, it kind of kept crawling.

 

 

Lucky for me she stopped before going above my shoulder and connecting to the beginning of the chain on the front side.

I wonder how my wife will react. 😉

 

Once my dearest darling wife saw my skin, she was . . . less than happy.  She did her best to not freak out, but the stress was showing.

Part of being an effective (or at least still living) practical joker is knowing when to let the other person know they’ve been had.  So, to save my skin (literally!), I engaged Step 4 of Operation India Ink Tattoos and told her the truth.  I also edited the second email to include her reactions and sent it off to assorted relatives:

 

As you may guess, I’ve already dragged my ink-stained hide back home to Dongguan before prepping these emails.

Since I had to check work first, I kept my shirt on for a couple of hours. Then I showed my lovely wife the lizard.

She was . . . not amused, but thought she could live with it.

Then I took the shirt off.

She was . . . distinctly displeased.  If only I’d been smart enough to get a video of the look of shock and horror.

She tells me she was also secretly trying to figure out how to get the tattoos removed.

The good news is that in this case, time will indeed heal all wounds, and far more quickly than one might imagine.

My darling wife has once again been victimized by one of my elaborate practical jokes. Anil’s tattoo was a regular, permanent one. Mine were something else. In India, elaborate henna tattoos are quite common. No needles (or gloves) are involved. When fresh, the tattoos are very hard to tell from the real thing, but they only last a couple weeks and then fade away.

I really did want a better version of the gecko lizard for an article I plan to write. I guess for that purpose, a fat, ugly one will have to do.

I did pay a price (above the $22 or so this cost me). The ink takes time to dry. I had to stand around for about 90 minutes keeping my right arm from brushing against the ink on my side. At one point, I was standing in front of the hotel with my arm resting on one of the signs. A beach vendor selling LED items (for about 5 times what my lovely wife can get them for in China) found himself a truly captive audience. I finally retreated from the beach before he figured out that I’d be unable to keep him from simply removing the money from my pocket.

The tattoos are available in black, brown, and red. My lizard is black. The floral chain is really red, but appeared black when freshly applied. Brown and red are most commonly used for hand decoration by female members of wedding parties. Here are a few from that wedding I got invited to.

 

 

So, my not-so-cute little lizard and the floral chain henna tattoos have both faded away.  I was sort of getting used to the lizard and kind of miss having it on my arm.  Maybe I’ll have it redone the next time I’m in India.

I just asked my darling wife (now that she’s had a couple weeks to recover) what she thought of my joke.  She tells me she’s still very happy the tattoos were temporary. 

Now that I’ve successfully pulled off Operation India Ink Tattoos she’s left wondering what other things I might do to keep her life from ever getting boring.  Being a loving husband and certified Lunatic, I’m sure I’ll think of something. 

 

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